I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
