Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
