so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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