Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
