I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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