What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
