"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Buhtt sex?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he fucked my hip out of place.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
