Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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