Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
is it fun? or sober?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize