I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
