My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
