New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
