how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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