Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
