brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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