So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
