I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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