We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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