a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
