um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
