Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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