dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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