I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
