sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
