I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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