at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
