The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
