Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
