We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
