I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
