you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
