SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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