remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am midnight drunk by noon
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize