why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
