Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize