I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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