Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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