Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
