I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
