You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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