Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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