I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize