OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
