I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize