you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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