Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
