Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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