It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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