are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
