I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
