Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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