When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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