yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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