And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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