Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
