Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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