Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
