Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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