I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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