Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
