bring money and cleavage
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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