where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
