you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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