I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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