therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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